I know so many of us have the same story. Growing up a bit chunky, comparing ourselves to our friends, and finally dieting in order to be more accepted by our peers and ourselves.
My dieting journey began when I wasn’t even 12 years old. My friends in junior high were all petite little girls and I was a taller and larger 11-year-old. At 5’6″ weighing 135 lb I thought I was absolutely obese. I compared myself to my tiny little Vietnamese best friend who was probably 5 ft and weighed 95 lb and my other friends who were all tiny little girls. When we would take photos together I felt like looked like the Jolly Green Giant.
I started gaining weight as early as 9 years old. Running to food as comfort for childhood trauma. I had been dealing with childhood obsessive compulsive disorder and the necessity to be absolutely perfect. I was a genius child winning every award possible. I wasn’t just the teacher’s pet, I was the principal’s pet.
Nothing could fill the void but food at least consoled me. My first diet was the typical American starvation diet. I lost a little weight and then of course gained all my way back plus an additional 10 lb. I had been dieting so much that by the time I got into High School I weighed 180 lb. Mortified I kept dieting. By the time I got into college I weighed 230 lb. Again, I just kept dieting. Unlike so many of my friends I couldn’t just eat whatever I wanted everything on my body showed. Every morsel I put into my mouth went right onto my thighs and no matter what I did I could never keep it off.
I was at a point where I couldn’t stand anyone even talking about my weight as it seemed to be a subject at every family get together. My brother always teased me about my weight as children do.
It was always something that I was secretly ashamed of. I knew that I had this problem of losing weight and gaining weight and so after a point just accepted that that’s how my body worked and I would rock whatever weight I was at.
With that shame though was the inability to do so many things that I really wanted to do. I put off making content for YouTube for years even though I felt that I had so much to contribute. Being a photography veteran for 30 years made me an expert but I was too embarrassed to be in front of the camera at my largest, 250 pounds!
Before covid I was on a good stride and had lost quite a few pounds and was hitting the gym every day for a year but still was never able to get under 190 lb. I started to realize that my problem with food was definitely an addiction and no matter what I did I could not break that addiction. Like most people that start the yo-yoing roller coaster I tried every diet. I tried Jenny craig, lindora, atkins, low carb, weight watchers, diet pills, trying it on my own, veganism, vegetarianism, counting calories on an app and anything else you can possibly think of.
Finally at the age of 49 I was Fed up. I gained all my weight plus more over covid and was finally at my heaviest at 250 pounds. Although, I didn’t have any ailments that needed medication and had no physical problems I was so over looking at the person that stared back at me in the mirror. I dreamed of being able to run and to have tons of energy. I dreamed of going hiking without feeling like I was going to die.
I made an appointment to see my doctor and told him that I wanted bariatric surgery. He reminded me that bariatric surgery was just a tool and not the answer for my problems with weight. I answered “If I haven’t figured it out yet and I’m almost 50 I’m never going to figure it out. I need to try something else.”
So started my journey with bariatric surgery.
I got a referral for a surgeon Dr Sergey Lyass in Glendale. I had a quick appointment with him where I told him my issues. I’m not a junk food junkie I have a problem with portion control. He asked me if I’d been capable of losing weight in the past and I’ve told him a myriads of times but I had not been able to keep it off. He told me that I was perfect candidate. That he believed I would have great success with the surgery.
We scheduled my surgery for a slow period in my business so I wouldn’t have to actually take any time off.
Unlike a lot of people that have gotten the surgery I didn’t have to go on a diet beforehand. All he expected from me was that I not eat 48 hours before the surgery and just consume fluids.
I went in for surgery on July 7th 2022. As soon as I got out of surgery I was surprised at how little pain I felt I was immediately able to do my breathing exercises and within an hour was up and walking around. I left the next morning and followed my diet strictly. I was on fluids for 2 to 3 weeks and and a series and step ups of going from soft foods to harder foods over a period of about 12 weeks. I kept to my diet exactly.
I lost 40 lb really quickly and over the first 6 months lost about 65 lb. Over a year I lost nearly a hundred pounds. I initially gained about an extra 10 lb and got up to 260 lb the last week of my eating parties. I ate everything under the sun the last 2 weeks before surgery. I had Korean barbecue twice I had all the desserts that I wanted and it amazed me that I had gained 10 pounds in 2 weeks, I don’t know why it amazed me I should have expected it.
I started going to the gym at my 3 month mark and I go to the gym every day Monday through Friday focusing on weight lifting. I take all of my vitamins and eat fairly healthy.
I tracked my food for the first 14 months after my surgery and now at this point I pretty much keep a healthy diet focusing on mostly protein and even times where I’m not eating superbly healthy I haven’t gained any weight.
When I met with my surgeon after a year I was at 163 pounds. I’ve managed to lose a few more pounds and vacillate between about 159 and 160 lb on a regular basis. I may make it down to as low as 155 and start trying to gain muscle weight at that point.
I have had no adverse reactions to my surgery. I don’t get acid reflux very often. I’ve never had dumping syndrome which is what happens when you consume sugar. Although I will say that I cut white sugar out of my life completely about 2 months ago. I can eat anything that I want to eat without any problems but now I just can’t eat as much, obviously. I don’t have very much of a stomach left. It’s wonderful sitting down to eat and feeling full. I used to eat a whole plate of food and would still feel empty and go back for seconds or thirds. Now I have a small plate of food the size of a bread plate and it is plenty and I feel full and satisfied.
I have built healthy habits over the last year which I have been building for the last few years anyways. Working out is a must for me now. I never skip a day Monday through Friday. Eating vegetables and protein is a must. I do allow myself indulgences occasionally but it’s not a daily habit.
The only regret that I have is not having had this surgery earlier in my life.
I’m so glad that nowadays, this new generation is more body accepting and I think that’s wonderful. No matter how often I would explain to people that I was a healthy heavier person it didn’t matter I was still judged and it was always a source of pain for me. But I will say that losing this weight has made me lighter on my feet and a more energetic. I am stronger now, I feel better than I ever have and I’m confident that I can keep my weight off and keep my healthier habits. I know that the journey is never going to be over for me I will always struggle with food addiction. I know that I have better tools now and a better understanding. I have built better habits. There is always a bit of fear in me that over time the weight may crawl back but I also know that I have made working out and weightlifting a habit now that I have had even way before having my surgery. I know that I am well equipped or at least better equipped to handle my food addiction.
And I want to thank my doctor Sergey Lyass for the great job on my surgery. I love that I have had no problems with my surgery whatsoever and I have him to thank for it.
I had some nips and Tux already and will probably have more at the beginning of next year.
I had my arms done. A mini front leg lift which I hope to do a full leg lift at the beginning of next year. I hope to have my poor sad flat butt lifted. I have a breast implants and a lift because I lost everything with the loss of fat on my body. So I am now a normal c cup.
I want to thank all of my friends and family for all of their support. My friends are very loving and accepting people. Many of my close friends have gotten bariatric surgery though they are secretive about their Journey. All of them have reached out to help me throughout my journey and I thank them all. I know that their journey is secret and I cannot name anyone but they know who they are.
I want to thank my fiance, Josh, for being supportive through all of this. I know he has food addictions also and it has been difficult for him to not have his partner in food crime anymore.
I’m so glad to be turning the chapter on the chunky me and on to the new chapter of a healthier and stronger version of me.
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